Is it normal to feel numb, confused and lost?
The period after the funeral can be an unsettling time. Between the death and the funeral, you may have been surrounded by family and friends, and kept busy making arrangements.
It may not be until after the funeral that you feel the full intensity of your grief. Everyone else may seem to have returned to normal, but your life is forever changed. It will take time to create a “new normal” for yourself and to start to adjust.
Friends and family sometimes feel uncomfortable themselves about grief or may have particular ideas about the right way to grieve including the duration.
If you feel like you are being told to rush your grief, try to connect with people who are more understanding. Those who were there alongside you before the death of a loved one took place may have particular insight into your experience.
Grief can present in different ways for different people and can be displayed in physical, emotional behavioural and psychological ways. Typical grief reactions can include but are not limited to
EMOTIONAL – feelings of shock, disbelief, fear, anger, depression, hopelessness, sadness, longing, guilt and feeling abandoned, empty or directionless
PHYSICAL – panic sensations, chest tightness, difficulty breathing, headaches, nausea, loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, constant crying, nightmares, restlessness and agitation
BEHAVIOURAL – withdrawal and isolation, avoidance of triggers of the loss, resentment towards others, feeling disconnected from others and misunderstood, feeling rejected or isolated by friends
PSYCHOLOGICAL – being preoccupied with the loss, thoughts that the pain will never end or that you can’t cope, suicidal thoughts, difficulties with memory, concentration, planning, and decision making, flashbacks and painful memories, loss of interest and motivation.
Bereavement and mental health support:
- National Bereavement Partnership
- Call Samaritans helpline: 116 123 (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week)
- At A Loss
- The Good Grief Trust
- Cruse Bereavement Care
How do I ask for mail to be redirected?
The Royal Mail redirection service intercepts mail addressed to the deceased and redirects it to an address of your choice. This can be arranged on a monthly, half yearly or annual basis. The Bereavement Register is also available to stop unsolicited post being sent to the deceased’s address.
What do I do about car insurance?
Insurance cover on a vehicle owned by the deceased ceases immediately at the time of death.
The next of kin or executor should inform the insurance company concerned who will offer immediate transfer or cover as appropriate. The vehicle registration documents should be returned in due course to the licensing authority for transfer of ownership to the beneficiary. The driving licence of the deceased should be returned to the licensing authority for cancelling.
What should I do about property or land owned?
If the deceased owned land or property, a different updating process is required which is typically dealt with by the executor, administrator or lawyer appointed by the deceased or next of kin. They will also deal with any Wills or Letters of Wishes with regard to the overall estate (property and belongings).